Film Schooled: Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Since I'm doing the story about a Filipino drag queen for my thesis, I've been watching a variety of drag queen films like The Birdcage and Priscilla Queen of the Desert. And no drag queen collection is complete without on of my favorite films, Hedwig and the Angry Inch. This film has a way of making me teary eyed. I had the pleasure of meeting the film's writer/director/lead actor, John Cameron Mitchell when he visited UC Davis and taught a two-day seminar. He's the kind of director I hope to one day be like. The man his humble and does not take his work and his filmmaking experience for granted. He is an emotional filmmaker--placing his own personal experiences into the script, which is precisely why you really care for the characters in his films. My concept for my thesis is something personal for me. Yes, it's a story about a Filipino American family, which is self-explanatory for me. But also, it's about a character who pursues a profession and a lifestyle that doesn't uphold typical middle-class Filipino convention. While a filmmaker and a drag queen are two different types of professionals, they are both creative fields that involve entertainment. It's about being the "different" one in the family. Not necessarily the black sheep--just different, the unexpected one that receives some praise, but mostly frown and confused faces when we talk about what we do.

Below is a clip from Hedwig. "The Origin of Love" is one of my favorite songs. I sang it on the traffic-filled drive to LA a few days ago and nearly choked at the end. I don't know why I was close to crying, I just was--probably thinking about a lot of things, but nothing specifically--just life.

Flim Stuff: Zombies

Long time no see. I was immersed in zombies and below is a product of that immersion--a clip from my 2nd semester cycle film, Infected. The music isn't actually used in the film--it was 1am. Daysha, my editor and I were sleep deprived and giggly.

Random Find: 10 Best Movie Posters of 2010

Overall great selection. Yeah, some of the movies on this aren't getting great reviews, but this is all about design and marketing. And they forgot some posters. Machete is missing :(
http://gawker.com/5726228/the-best-movie-posters-of-2010

Because we can't always rely on popular perception....

Definitely challenges our perception of others...
Hope this guy gets noticed since this vid was posted on Reddit. And, voice aside, he just seems like an overall sincere and congenial guy. So those cardboard signs homeless people carry around might be true...sometimes at least. Who knows....

Reflection: 2010

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?

Directed a film shot on 16mm, be on 3 four-day sets including my own, direct a child actor, spend nearly $2500 on a film project....

In other words, I survived.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
It's the same as every year: I don't really make resolutions. Repeat of last year's "this is what I live by" -- Cherish the moment, especially the ones that get to your core. Love (even if they don't love in return) and have fun despite the shit. You'll laugh about it when you look back in retrospect.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not yet, but looking forward to two births that are coming in 2011. My cousins, Genna and Genelle (both sisters) are expecting. It's so surreal knowing that my generation is now bringing in the babies---we're adults now?!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My lola.

5. What countries did you visit?

Sadly none. Hopefully the Philippines in 2011 or I'll study abroad.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Fulfillment

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 26, 3:00ish AM :)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
See #1

9. What was your biggest failure?
I regret about mistakes, but I don't see them as failures. To me, it's a failure if someone dies on set. Which will never happen..........only fictionally...because it's in the script...

But if you want a list of my mistakes, well, it's a long one.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Do loads of stress and tears count? I threw up at school one day because of stress. My acne has infested my face like never before.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

I honestly can't remember.... and if I can't remember it then it's not the best thing.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My crew and cast for all the film projects I directed this year. Thank you. I love you. I know I'm probably repeating myself, but I can't thank you enough.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Eh...people will be people.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Living. Making movies (which correlates with living).

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
See #1

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Basically any fuckin ke$sha song. UGH.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
a. happier

b. fluctuates

c. poorer, but that will be my answer for some years to come.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
I wish I was more assertive with others and act more direct in compromising. Say what I want and why. Stand up for myself. The list goes on....

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Be on other people's sets. I really shouldn't say yes to people so much.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Family time, visiting friends, enjoying the Bay Area.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?

It's percolating.... :)

22. How many one-night stands?
Uh, none. Duh.

23. What was your favorite TV program?
The Walking Dead

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Same answer as last year: While there are a few who irritate me, I'm a lover, not a hater.

25. What was the best book you read?

Graphic novels:

• The Walking Dead
• Chew

Novels:

• The Living Dead: An Anthology of Zombie Short Stories
• The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian (re-read)
• Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal (re-read)

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Multiple discoveries thanks to friends and Pandora: BassNectar, Ratatat, Little Dragon

and I took a musical composition for filmmakers class. I now know how to play around with loops and samples, so I can make music for my own films :)

27. What did you want and get?

• To work with great film crews and have a smooth set--regardless of the final product not being as great as we had hoped it to be, no negative comment about the film itself can void us of the fact that we had an amazing set and a great crew.
• To have someone to care about and who cares about me in return.

28. What did you want and not get?
See #6

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
The Social Network

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
23 years of life. I ate out with friends on my bday...chill but fun.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
See #6

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Comfort. More additions to last year's plaid shirt collection

33. What kept you sane?
Same as last year: My family, both by blood and by bond.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Joseph Gordon Levitt...ehehe.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Prop 8

36. Who did you miss?
My Lola
And same as last year: I miss my family and my Davis family when I'm in Orange. And I miss my Chapman family when I'm in the Bay.

37. Who was the best new person you met?
Amy, the PD for my past cycle film

Kaitlyn, the owner of Cyrano's Caffe where we shot

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
Interestingly, the same as last year: To not devalue myself and my abilities

but with the added--

Sometimes it's ok to be a little selfish.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Ugh this is so emo, but this song hits the target for me personally

Asobi Seksu - "Walk the Moon"

You saw the photograph, an image of me
You'll never see me like this
It's never felt like this
I'm swimming in gray
I'm just swimming in gray

Let them all walk away, all walk away
So there's no one to blame
They all feel same
Let them all walk away, all walk away
I'll be left with the shame

Film Schooled: Model Family

I audited a web series class this past semester. TV is a whole new ball game, and it's a fun one. Unlike a film, which is a one-time deal (unless you can never give up on your franchise like Lucas), TV requires that you must constantly think about the series as a whole. Just as each scene of a film must move the story forward, so must each episode carry on the story of the series. Another thing I learned while being in TV mode -- actors come and go, and while it's weird that an entirely different actor is playing a favorite character, it can sometimes be a good thing. Two actors had to be replaced throughout the course of the Model Family series, but the two new ones ended up bringing more life into the characters. The last-minute casting calls and auditions were worth it.

Below is episode 4 of the series, which is the last episode unless someone decides to carry on the series beyond the class. The concept of the series, while strange at first, is a solid one. Family dramedy opens a lot of possibilities.

I

Model Family Episode 4, "Just Shoot Me"

Reflection: 2009

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

Co-directed a 6 day long film festival! It was a lot of work, but I loved it. Asian American independent filmmaking reminds me why I want to make movies in the first place. It was a great collaboration between AAA Film Festival, Southeast Asian Graduation, and the Asian Pacific Islander Queer organizations. The different APIA orgs in Davis often appear to be doing their own separate things, but it was wonderful to use the film festival as a way to bring them all together. Hefty task, but so worth it. And we managed to get Amyn Kaderali and Jimmy Tsai to be our special guests. Sure, I've been meeting famous directors and writers here in film school, but the independent filmmakers that do the movies they want to do--the ones you don't know--are equally important sources of inspiration for me. And I'm grateful to have met them personally...and to be their Facebook friend :) Film Festival engulfed most of my senior year (well, socially), but I have no regrets. It was one of the best experiences of my life.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't really make resolutions. I suppose I should, but my outlook is pretty much the same every year. It's basically this--Cherish the moment, especially the ones that get to your core. Love (even if they don't love in return) and have fun.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Two births towards the end of the year:
My cousin Anthony and his wife Gee had Baby Alaya in October
My cousin Jane and her husband Biren had Baby Amar just a few days ago on Dec 29th.
And my cousin Rutchelle and her husband, Allan are expecting in April 2010. My generation's starting to make babies. So happy to be a tita.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No one thankfully.

5. What countries did you visit?

Sadly I did not travel abroad this year. My 2008 summer trip to London took out too much money.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

Visit another country. Somewhere in Europe, Asia or better yet--both. I definitely want to head back to the Philippines, especially since my Nanay's getting older, past 80, and well, you know....

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

AAA Film Festival!!! (May 5-8 and 12-15, 2009)
Graduation (June 13?, 2009)
These are pretty self-explanatory...

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

A repeat of #7 along with getting into film school.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I don't really see things as failures.... I've made mistakes, of course. But labeling something as a "failure" just makes one's outlook on life so pessimistic and makes one's actions null and void.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nothing serious, just a cold.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My MacBook Pro.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

While I could put a famous person in here... I say

• Everyone in AAA, AAA Film Fest, SEAGrad, and APIQ (You guys worked so hard to bring the community together during film festival!)
• My FA family (It's great to see that you guys are keeping filmmaking alive in Davis, even after most of us have graduated. Way to wrangle up freshman!)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

No one I know personally, and I'm sure you know the list of celebrities that are receiving hateration.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Living.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

AAA Film Festival, grad school, graduation. They're all tied. I'm repeating myself again...

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

"Poker Face" by Lady Gaga was ALWAYS and still is on the radio. But her acoustic version that she performed on the Ellen show will always stand out. She did an amazing job, and that performance made me fall for the Gaga.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

happier, a tad thinner (thank you, film school), poorer (thank you, film school, but I'm happier and that's what matters)

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

A bit more of my own film projects, but I did have a lot of fun helping other people on their own shoots. And I wish I took more art classes. Intro to Drawing with Bryce was fun, and I wish I took painting with him, or did a ceramics class.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Work (And I sadly need it or else I feel agitated. I'm like a Border Collie.)

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

I spent time with the family and had a party with relatives. The highlight of the party was when my uncle offered me a shot of rum.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?

Not in a romantic sense, but I fell in love with people--the APIA community and the filmmaking community in UC Davis. Wish I did fall in love, even though I would've probably fallen out of it after graduation... I fell for my friends, which matters at the end.

22. How many one-night stands?

Zilch, and I'll try to keep it that way....hopefully. Probably.

23. What was your favorite TV program?

There's a good amount of shows I love, but I'm putting True Blood in here because I'm actually up to date on it.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

While there are a few who irritate me, I'm a lover, not a hater.

25. What was the best book you read?

Oh so many, both novels and graphic novels. But here are some honorable mentions:

Graphic novels:

• Luna Park
• Fables series
• Y: The Last Man
• The DMZ
  

Novels:

• The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian
• Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
• The Brief Life of Oscar Wao
• The Book Thief
• Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
• Fool
• Crooked Little Vein
  

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Asobi Seksu
and...
Wednesday Night Karaoke at Lucky Strikes

27. What did you want and get?

To graduate (a quarter early!) and get into film school.

28. What did you want and not get?

A romantic something--the mixedsignalsfromguyfriendsbutnoactionbecausewe'rebothidiotic led me to a state of romantic apathy towards the end of senior year which was unfortunate.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?

There were a few good films this year, but Up was the one that was the most memorable to me.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

22! It was during Orientation week. Beth and Luke, two people who I just met during the week (but who are my besties now) gave me a cupcake and a balloon. It made my day and I got pretty emotional inside. I just met them at the time, but that small gesture made me so happy. I will never forget it.

There was also a mixer at the Lazy Dog Cafe with faculty and students. My friend, Ed (who I also just met that week) told the waiter it was my birthday, so of course the embarrassing singing and presentation of a cake occurred.

All these kind actions that were done to me made me realize--there's a family slowly but surely forming in Chapman--these are relationships that will last beyond school. I should cherish it.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

See #28. Oh, and more contemporary dance classes.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

Lumberjack chic--my newfound obsession with flannel shirts.

33. What kept you sane?

My family, both by blood and by bond.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Robert Downey Jr. He made quite the comeback.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

The massacre in Magindinao due to the elections there. While there has always been political corruption in the Philippines, this just brought it to a whole new level. The poverty there is a socio-political issue that will always stir me, but the growing hostility in the southern region due to the tension between the Muslim population and the mostly Catholic Filipino government and military adds a new layer to an already dire situation.

36. Who did you miss?

I miss my family and my Davis family when I'm in Orange. And I miss my Chapman family when I'm home. Oh the reversals...

37. Who was the best new person you met?

Can't narrow it down to one person so... My fellow Chapman film family!

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

To not devalue myself and my abilities (thank you, McCrack)

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I can't think of a song that sums up everything, but this one does a good job.

"This Tornado Loves You" - Neko Case

My love I am the speed of sound.
I left them motherless, fatherless.
Their souls dangling inside out from there mouths.
But it's never enough.
I want you....

Carved your name across three counties.
Ground it in with bloody hides.
Their broken necks will line the ditch.
'Til you stop it.
Stop it. stop it. stop it.
Stop this madness.
I want you.....

I have waited with a glacier's patience.
Smashed every transformer with trailer.
'Til nothing was standing 65 miles wide.
Still you are nowhere.
Still you are nowhere.
Nowhere in sight.
Come out to meet me, run out to meet me.
Come into the light.

Climb the boxcars to the engine,
Through the smoke and to the sky.
Your rails have always outrun mine.
So I picked them up and crashed them down,
In a moment close to now.
'Cause i miss, i miss, i miss....
How you'd sigh yourself to sleep.
When I'd wrack the springtime across your sheets.

My love I am the speed of sound.
I left them motherless, fatherless.
There souls dangling insde out from there mouths,
But it's never enough.
My love I'm an owl on the sill in the evening.
But morning finds you,
Still warm and breathing.

This tornado loves you.....
What will make you believe me?
This tornado loves you....
What will make you believe me?