Reflection: 2009

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

Co-directed a 6 day long film festival! It was a lot of work, but I loved it. Asian American independent filmmaking reminds me why I want to make movies in the first place. It was a great collaboration between AAA Film Festival, Southeast Asian Graduation, and the Asian Pacific Islander Queer organizations. The different APIA orgs in Davis often appear to be doing their own separate things, but it was wonderful to use the film festival as a way to bring them all together. Hefty task, but so worth it. And we managed to get Amyn Kaderali and Jimmy Tsai to be our special guests. Sure, I've been meeting famous directors and writers here in film school, but the independent filmmakers that do the movies they want to do--the ones you don't know--are equally important sources of inspiration for me. And I'm grateful to have met them personally...and to be their Facebook friend :) Film Festival engulfed most of my senior year (well, socially), but I have no regrets. It was one of the best experiences of my life.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't really make resolutions. I suppose I should, but my outlook is pretty much the same every year. It's basically this--Cherish the moment, especially the ones that get to your core. Love (even if they don't love in return) and have fun.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Two births towards the end of the year:
My cousin Anthony and his wife Gee had Baby Alaya in October
My cousin Jane and her husband Biren had Baby Amar just a few days ago on Dec 29th.
And my cousin Rutchelle and her husband, Allan are expecting in April 2010. My generation's starting to make babies. So happy to be a tita.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No one thankfully.

5. What countries did you visit?

Sadly I did not travel abroad this year. My 2008 summer trip to London took out too much money.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

Visit another country. Somewhere in Europe, Asia or better yet--both. I definitely want to head back to the Philippines, especially since my Nanay's getting older, past 80, and well, you know....

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

AAA Film Festival!!! (May 5-8 and 12-15, 2009)
Graduation (June 13?, 2009)
These are pretty self-explanatory...

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

A repeat of #7 along with getting into film school.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I don't really see things as failures.... I've made mistakes, of course. But labeling something as a "failure" just makes one's outlook on life so pessimistic and makes one's actions null and void.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nothing serious, just a cold.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My MacBook Pro.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

While I could put a famous person in here... I say

• Everyone in AAA, AAA Film Fest, SEAGrad, and APIQ (You guys worked so hard to bring the community together during film festival!)
• My FA family (It's great to see that you guys are keeping filmmaking alive in Davis, even after most of us have graduated. Way to wrangle up freshman!)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

No one I know personally, and I'm sure you know the list of celebrities that are receiving hateration.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Living.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

AAA Film Festival, grad school, graduation. They're all tied. I'm repeating myself again...

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

"Poker Face" by Lady Gaga was ALWAYS and still is on the radio. But her acoustic version that she performed on the Ellen show will always stand out. She did an amazing job, and that performance made me fall for the Gaga.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

happier, a tad thinner (thank you, film school), poorer (thank you, film school, but I'm happier and that's what matters)

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

A bit more of my own film projects, but I did have a lot of fun helping other people on their own shoots. And I wish I took more art classes. Intro to Drawing with Bryce was fun, and I wish I took painting with him, or did a ceramics class.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Work (And I sadly need it or else I feel agitated. I'm like a Border Collie.)

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

I spent time with the family and had a party with relatives. The highlight of the party was when my uncle offered me a shot of rum.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?

Not in a romantic sense, but I fell in love with people--the APIA community and the filmmaking community in UC Davis. Wish I did fall in love, even though I would've probably fallen out of it after graduation... I fell for my friends, which matters at the end.

22. How many one-night stands?

Zilch, and I'll try to keep it that way....hopefully. Probably.

23. What was your favorite TV program?

There's a good amount of shows I love, but I'm putting True Blood in here because I'm actually up to date on it.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

While there are a few who irritate me, I'm a lover, not a hater.

25. What was the best book you read?

Oh so many, both novels and graphic novels. But here are some honorable mentions:

Graphic novels:

• Luna Park
• Fables series
• Y: The Last Man
• The DMZ
  

Novels:

• The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian
• Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
• The Brief Life of Oscar Wao
• The Book Thief
• Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
• Fool
• Crooked Little Vein
  

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Asobi Seksu
and...
Wednesday Night Karaoke at Lucky Strikes

27. What did you want and get?

To graduate (a quarter early!) and get into film school.

28. What did you want and not get?

A romantic something--the mixedsignalsfromguyfriendsbutnoactionbecausewe'rebothidiotic led me to a state of romantic apathy towards the end of senior year which was unfortunate.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?

There were a few good films this year, but Up was the one that was the most memorable to me.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

22! It was during Orientation week. Beth and Luke, two people who I just met during the week (but who are my besties now) gave me a cupcake and a balloon. It made my day and I got pretty emotional inside. I just met them at the time, but that small gesture made me so happy. I will never forget it.

There was also a mixer at the Lazy Dog Cafe with faculty and students. My friend, Ed (who I also just met that week) told the waiter it was my birthday, so of course the embarrassing singing and presentation of a cake occurred.

All these kind actions that were done to me made me realize--there's a family slowly but surely forming in Chapman--these are relationships that will last beyond school. I should cherish it.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

See #28. Oh, and more contemporary dance classes.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

Lumberjack chic--my newfound obsession with flannel shirts.

33. What kept you sane?

My family, both by blood and by bond.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Robert Downey Jr. He made quite the comeback.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

The massacre in Magindinao due to the elections there. While there has always been political corruption in the Philippines, this just brought it to a whole new level. The poverty there is a socio-political issue that will always stir me, but the growing hostility in the southern region due to the tension between the Muslim population and the mostly Catholic Filipino government and military adds a new layer to an already dire situation.

36. Who did you miss?

I miss my family and my Davis family when I'm in Orange. And I miss my Chapman family when I'm home. Oh the reversals...

37. Who was the best new person you met?

Can't narrow it down to one person so... My fellow Chapman film family!

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.

To not devalue myself and my abilities (thank you, McCrack)

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I can't think of a song that sums up everything, but this one does a good job.

"This Tornado Loves You" - Neko Case

My love I am the speed of sound.
I left them motherless, fatherless.
Their souls dangling inside out from there mouths.
But it's never enough.
I want you....

Carved your name across three counties.
Ground it in with bloody hides.
Their broken necks will line the ditch.
'Til you stop it.
Stop it. stop it. stop it.
Stop this madness.
I want you.....

I have waited with a glacier's patience.
Smashed every transformer with trailer.
'Til nothing was standing 65 miles wide.
Still you are nowhere.
Still you are nowhere.
Nowhere in sight.
Come out to meet me, run out to meet me.
Come into the light.

Climb the boxcars to the engine,
Through the smoke and to the sky.
Your rails have always outrun mine.
So I picked them up and crashed them down,
In a moment close to now.
'Cause i miss, i miss, i miss....
How you'd sigh yourself to sleep.
When I'd wrack the springtime across your sheets.

My love I am the speed of sound.
I left them motherless, fatherless.
There souls dangling insde out from there mouths,
But it's never enough.
My love I'm an owl on the sill in the evening.
But morning finds you,
Still warm and breathing.

This tornado loves you.....
What will make you believe me?
This tornado loves you....
What will make you believe me?

"And, in the end, the love you take / Is equal to the love you make."

Yes, I beat Beatles: Rock Band. With my voice. The ending has this great animation that has beautiful hints of anime and psychedelic. But what made it the perfect ending was that they sing the ending couplet of "The End":

"And, in the end, the love you take / Is equal to the love you make."

Those words alone got to me. A nice epiphany to start the New Year.
(And "The End" is one of their songs I haven't heard in a very long time, so it was a wonderful surprise to hear those lyrics with virgin ears.)

The vid isn't really a spoiler since you can easily access it on Youtube. So please watch away...






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My 2010... according to my horoscope

Horoscopes never cease to amuse me. July will be a very busy month apparently. November seems pretty boring, though. I think I should live my life according to this chart. Hehe. Thanks, Tiff for the link. :)

Food Porn | Christmas/Pasko Ponderings: Baking Marathon or How Food=Identity

Oh the Christmas spirit--I've had this conversation topic come up with a few of my friends. All of us have been asking the same question: Where did the Christmas magic go? Ok, I went to Disneyland during its Christmas setup, but that's a different kind of magic... especially now that my friends and I discovered a very nice bar in the restaurant known as Ariel's Grotto (btw, it's in California Adventure). But what I really mean is the lack of excitement we had as kids. You know the one--awaiting for presents from Santa, staying up late to try and sneak a peek at the Big Guy, waking up early to be the first to open presents, eating so many cookies that you got a stomachache... Christmas was indeed very magical. There was so much innocent anticipation about anything and everything. The smallest things excited you, even being an angel during the school Christmas pageant was exciting despite tripping on your heavenly robes. And now... well, not so much the same level of excitement. This is not to say that Christmas isn't special. For me, Christmas means home. It means being with my family. It means seeing the friends I haven't seen in a long time. And it means I have two weeks to not stress about anything--no school, no work, no drama. Regardless of all of these wonderful things, the innocent glee I had as a kid is gone. But....!

I believe it's more bittersweet than sad. It just means the natural progression and realization that, "Whoa girl, you're living!" It means that now I'm an adult(ish), and that my appreciation of Christmas and the joy that I feel must come from something deeper than the Kirby Superstar I got for my Super Nintendo. And here is where I begin to talk about food....

Ever since I was a kid, I helped my mom bake for hours and hours, making Christmas treats we would package and give out as gifts to relatives and friends. It was something I greatly looked forward to as a kid, and I feel the same anticipation now. While it might not be the "Ooo sugar time!" thoughts I had growing up, the feeling of excitement still remains. And it goes even deeper....

It connects me to the Filipina part of my Filipina American self (for me, there must be both: Filipina and American. One isn't stronger or more important than the other. It's symbiotic, baby.). It is the realization that there is a history behind a recipe--that I am making food the way many Filipinos have done since that food was invented, that I am using the polvoron mold exactly the way my grandma, my Nanay taught me when she used to live with us--before she moved back to the Philippines when I was eleven. While some Filipinos I meet often give me a look of disapproval and disappointment not being fluent in Tagalog or Pangasinan, or for acting too "Americanized," they fail to realize that "Filipino-ness" is more internal than one's voice and appearance. It is the appreciation of one's heritage. It is an embrace of the history that lies within one's cultural identity. I embrace mine through food (and karaoke).

And I will share this embrace with you.

Enjoy.
(Recipes below... )

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Polvoron is candy made from powdered milk, sugar, and butter. With that combination, you really can't go wrong. I don't know the exact history behind it, but it came as a result of the American occupation of the Philippines after WWII when preserved goods such as Spam, Vienna Sausage, and yes--powdered milk were introduced. The recipe I use is taken from my mom's torn and worn out 20-year-old cookbook, Philippine Cookbook by Elisa P. Olandres. My family makes this every Christmas. One of my fondest childhood memories is making this with my Nanay and moving the molds around in circles on a plate to form the candy. My Kuya (older bro) and I used to go crazy doing this trying to race each other. Fun times.

• 1 cup flour
• 1 cup powdered milk
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 3/4 cup melted butter (after making this for a few years, it should actually be more like 2/3 cup of butter...)
  
• 1 teaspoon lemon extract (or lemon juice... or if you want to be even more authentic use calamansi juice)
• Optional: 1/4 cup finely chopped peanuts, walnuts, or pinipig (toasted glutinous rice. Similar to Rice Krispies)

Using no oil, put flour in a pan over medium heat until lightly browned. Note: stir, stir and stir some more. Once browned, remove and put in a bowl.

Into the bowl, add powdered milk, sugar, butter, and lemon/calamansi extract/juice. Mix well. Gently fold in nuts or pinipig.

Let the mixture sit for about twenty minutes or so to let everything settle. If you were to mold the candy right away, the candy wrappers get all oily and not very tasty-looking.

Mold in candy or cookie molds. There are also molds made specifically for polvoron which you can buy in most Filipino grocery stores or online.


To use the polvoron mold, you basically just spoon the mixture into a pile onto the plate then you gently press the mold on top of it. Hold the mold and press it down onto the plate, moving it around in circles to take out the excess and to make the form settle.

Press down on the lever...


And voila! Polvoron candy pops out.


Wrap in cellophane, wax, or tissue paper.


Yum.



Puto is steamed rice cake. Although, it's more of a muffin, really. And one should not confuse it with the masculine form of puta. Yes, there are some Spanish words used in tagalog. But really, "I got a puto in my mouth" just wouldn't fly the same way in Manila as it would in say, South America (tee-hee). I can't really give much of a history lesson about puto since it's one of those foods that have just always been around. I'm sure you've seen variations of it in other Asian cuisines. It's a basic recipe that incorporates two very Filipino (and very Asian) cooking concepts: rice and steaming. There are many variations of puto, based on the ingredients you add, but this one is the basic and very simple puto puti, or putong puti. There are some recipes for this that do it the "quick" way using, of all things, Bisquick. I tried these recipes and found them weird. The puto looks like puto, but tastes way to close to pancakes. The point of puto is the taste of rice. And on the other hand, I could go all out and have rice sit in water overnight before grinding it into flour, but I don't grind wheat to make the flour I use to bake cookies, so why should I do the same for puto?

• 2 cups rice flour (you can buy this in any Asian grocery store)
• 3 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 2/3 cup sugar
• pinch of salt
• 2 cups of coconut milk
• 2 tablespoons of water (I really have no idea what this does since it's such a small amount, but the recipe works, so I don't want to mess with it)
• Optional: grated coconut, anise seeds, or grated cheese for topping
  

Mix all the ingredients until smooth.


Spray molds with Pam. Since my mom's a nurse we use medicine cups since they're free. You can also use small creme brulee cups, muffin tins, etc. Fill molds 2/3 of the way full.



Put on toppings if desired. I use cheese--because it's cheese.


Arrange molds into a steamer and steam for 20-30 minutes. Note: The boiling water shouldn't be too vigorous. Just keep the heat to a nice medium to medium high. If the temperature is too high, the puto will cook too quickly and have a grainy texture, but if the temperature's to low, it will take too long to cook and all you'll have is a puddle of muddy white stuff.


You can use the toothpick test to check for doneness. And when you're done out pops the puto!




I actually like using the small medicine cups because the puto is so tiny and cute.

In addition to these yummies, my mom and I also made pecan tarts and petit fours. I don't even remember when my mom started baking these things. All I know is I've been making them with her ever since I could remember. These recipes are like little pieces of myself, so I hope you enjoyed them :)


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Afterthoughts: Film school, first semester (oh and new layout)

"The making of a film is my life. The film is not."
- John Cameron Mitchell

Oh, so I decided to put an entirely new layout and title. While Scribbler will forever be my film nickname thanks to DRA 170 class with Jose, I needed a more professional-looking blog. And to claim a production company this early in my career just seemed too cheesy. Yes, cheesy. Like Velveeta. In any case...

My first semester as a grad student Dodge College is officially over. Whoa. Yes, I survived the beginning of my film school adventure. And it was a damn good adventure. I met a lot of new people--and for the first time I felt like, "Wow, these people actually understand me!" Film people meeting other film people--quite the concept, isn't it? I have my own film school family here. I mean, when you do Wednesday Karaoke night with the same group of friends each week that basically means you're all family. If those people can stand your horrid karaoke singing each week that means they love you. But of course it's not film school without the film. It seemed like every weekend there was a movie to be made. I've made movies at the beach, in deserted roads, from the trunk of a car, and in bathrooms. I played an abused woman, a girl attacked by a doll, a dream girl, and a pregnant teenager with a slit throat. Not many people can say that they've had fake blood sitting in their fridge, or that they sat on top of a moving car holding onto the camera to shoot a tracking shot. It was truly a joy working working on my own as well as other people's films. Yes, it was stressful. Yes, we were all sleep-deprived. But we loved it because we were creating something. Together. And of course, free food makes up for most of the pain, as well as the drinks. They don't call it the Martini Shot for nothing. Shazam.

When I look at the exercises I've done for my production workshop I know they weren't the most cinematic or "professional" looking, but I'm truly proud of my work because I learned from each project. Each exercise helped me to delve deeper into understanding the filmmaking process. It's more internal than simply pointing the camera and pressing the record button. I'm learning how to better communicate to my actors and crew. And, more importantly, I'm learning how to get out of my shell in order to make the movie I want to make. And my shell does need an extra tap or two. People don't often realize how difficult it can be to look someone straight in the eye and say something. Or to touch someone you barely know, put your own hand on their thigh and say, "This is how I want you to touch her for this scene." If you can't tell already, many of the lessons I've learned while making a film are just as relevant to real life. I'll be cliche and add the famous Jean-Luc Godard quote to make my point, "The cinema is truth twenty-four times per second."

In closing, I can honestly say that I've grown as a filmmaker, and as a person within these 4 months. I can never look at movies the same way again, nor can I ever really look at myself the same way either. (Thank you, acting workshop!) I know more, yet there is, of course, more to learn. I'm still in progress, but this semester has showed that I'm off to a decent start. It wasn't smooth. The transition was sure as hell not savvy, but I did it. And that should count for something.

Food Porn: Filipino food in honor of the Pacman

I honestly didn't mean to go search for a decent Filipino restaurant in the OC on the same week of the Pacquiao v. Cotto fight (aka the Philippines v. Puerto Rico ). But since it happened in such synchronicity, I'm doing this post in honor of Pacman and to wish him good luck! The fight is this Saturday and I'm sure almost all the Filipino and Puerto Rican families have already ordered it on pay-per-view. I'm pretty sure there will be a party at my uncle's house which involves a lot of meat and a lot of beer. While I'm a big boxing fan, it's simply phenomenal seeing how Pacman is THE national hero of the Philippines. I mean, a life-size cut out of him was in a McDonald's when I was in Manila. That's super-celebrity right there. Despite all the political crap that happens and the poverty, I'm just happy to see the Pacman give Filipinos hope.

And onto food...

After being referred to this restaurant by a 2nd year grad, my friend Gus and I went on a mission to eat at this place. The Bay Area is full of Asian restaurants and I'm still getting used to the OC's utter lack of them...well decent ones anyway. But our mission was successful and we ate at a nice Filipino restaurant called Kabit Bahay (my neighbor) in Anaheim. It's the typical Mom and Pop cafeteria style restaurant--basically the only style of Filipino restaurant you encounter in the US, aside from the rare sit-down places like Gerry's Grill and Max's. Apparently there's a "fancy" Filipino restaurant somewhere in the Bay Area I have yet to find, but I digress...

I grew up culinarily spoiled. Like any Filipino, I think the food made at home is THE BEST FOOD EVER. However, it is my Papa, not my Mom (sorry, Mom) that is the super chef. This means that I am ridiculously picky when it comes to Filipino restaurants. I can honestly say that Kapit Bahay has great food. And I know I'll go there often and not simply because I have the sudden urge to eat Filipino food. Since I'm lazy to cook meat (aside from chicken) I unleashed my urges and ordered lechon (roast pig) and pork adobo. My brain didn't register that I ordered two heavy pork dishes until AFTER I uploaded the food photos on Facebook. Not that I regret it, but now I have the urge to jog.

Calamansi juice, lechon, and pork adobo. Heaven.

I can happily say that the food was not greasy--a flaw of many Filipino restaurants. The lechon was the way I like it--crispy outside, tender inside. And the skin was nice, crunchy, and edible. I've had a lot of lechon where the skin was overly fried so the thing was so thick that it could chip your tooth, but this lechon was crispy in a wonderful way. If you've never had lechon and you're not a vegetarian, you MUST try it. Anthony Bourdain made the Philippines #1 on his Hierarchy of Pork for a reason. The pork adobo was also amazing and had a good tartness to it. Adobo's an easy dish to make, but it's also easy to ruin if you add too much vinegar. Yes, I ate two "dry" dishes, which is very un-Filipino of me, but dammit, my carnivore instincts were screaming inside me. And seriously, Mang Tomas brand lechon sauce on rice counts as sabaw.

Giniling and bistek

Gus ordered giniling, which is ground meat (this one was pork) sauted with veggies. And he also had bistek, a Filipino version of beef steak, but the meat is marinated with soy sauce and calamansi (Filipino citrus) juice. Gus seemed to love since he ordered a 3rd cup of rice. I'm guessing the food was good on his end.

Definitely coming back to this place. The TV alone with nonstop Filipino Channel is reason enough. They were airing the Filipino version of Ugly Betty followed by a a dramedy about nuns--oh Filipino media how I both love and hate you. Now all I need is to find a place that makes sisig. The menu for Filipino cafeteria style joint like Kapit Bahay change everyday, so there's a glimmer of hope that the restaurant makes it.

WHERE ARE YOU?

Kapit Bahay is in a strip mall that contains a Ranch 99 Asian supermarket, Filipino bakery, a Ten Ren tea shop, a Thai restaurant, and a Chinese restaurant. Basically I'm coming back to this place not only for food, but also grocery. It's a relief to know that I can get my Asian fix without driving all the way to Irvine. I'm so happy to find this place. It will ease the homesickness.

Poetry: Old Stuff

Out of boredom and my own curiosity I decided to delve deep into my external harddrive and read my old essays from college. I began to greatly miss my poetry class with the beautiful and inspirational Sandra McPherson. My Intro to Poetry and my Love and Desire in American Poetry classes were some of the best classes I have ever had. As I read file after file of English assignments I began to miss poetry. It has been so long since I studied and actually read poetry. I'm the type who believes poetry is everywhere, but I began to miss the words, to write the words...and it doesn't help to have Mazzy Star playing on my Pandora.

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Ode to Lady Lazarus

Number 3
Number 3
Lady Lazarus you’re a pity

Three times done
Nine more left
Cat got your tongue?
You only smile from denial
that can only be felt when you
shed your skin to make a lamp
for the red light to
illuminate your prostitute self
Roxanne you don’t have to put on the red light.
I don’t want this strip tease
your entertainment melodrama of
red hair. red flesh. red blood
red rum red rum red rum red rum
That’s what you want
to become a phoenix
a Venus
from the seashell of sticky pearl worms
rising from the ashes of depression
with death as your mission
to eat men with your breath.
Breathe it in.
What’s the use of this rage
this obsession with your own oppression?
He was just one man
a singular artifact
allowed yourself to be
reduced
subtracted
to bipolar mind and
manic depression-
negative.
So I carry this Nazi lamp
of your Jew linen skin
that says BEWARE BEWARE
But I don’t care
it’s a mere mellow dim
No,
You do not terrify
me
I pity you
I merely sigh
Perhaps I’m too normal for you
Your Being
too tough to chew
these words
your own kidney curd
red and fleshy fresh
that is
Your Reality
which confuses me
with intriguing poetry of
pure insanity
becoming sanity
with each stanza
a line
of poetry that doesn’t rhyme
cannot rest and mold in my mind
the subjective. the relative. the reactive
relative reality
(un)reacted by me,
a little girl
who simply cannot understand

Number 3
Number 3
Lady Lazarus—
how ‘bout pitying me?

(Can you say EMO? Although I am proud to have written it...now for some real poetry....)

On The Stairs
Constantine P. Cavafy

As I was going down those ill-famed stairs
you were coming through the door, and for a second
I saw your unfamiliar face and you saw mine.
Then I hid so you wouldn't see me again,
and you hurried past me, hiding your face,
and slipped inside the ill-famed house
where you couldn't have found pleasure any more than I did.

And yet the love you were looking for, I had to give you;
the love I was looking for -so your tired, knowing eyes
implied-
you had to give me.
Our bodies sensed and sought each other:
our blood and skin understood.

But we both hid ourselves, flustered.




(I love this poem. Simple, and it goes beyond sexual and straight to desire. Not to mention the eye-lock super glance of possible sexual attraction but maybe isn't sexual attraction and I might be over-analyzing my own life but I might be too cynical-- has happened to me a number of times and I'm too stupid to do anything about it because I'm a doubting Debbie.)

Food Porn: Weekend of Great Food and Filmmaking

Last weekend I worked in the art department on the Dodge College 2nd year cycle film, Girl with a Camera. It was a truly great and amazing experience working with 2nd year students, and I learned so much from them both from a film production technical standpoint, and also how to interact and handle a film crew. The shoot occurred almost the entire weekend, Thursday-Saturday with 12-hour days. I've come to the conclusion that filmmakers are masochistic (myself included). After a hard days' of work, I was met with great and amazing food to keep me going. Here's a recap...

Thursday (or was it Wednesday?) night: Guppy House (Irvine, CA)
Price: basically everything is under $10 (yay!)

Going to the Guppy House greatly appeased my Asian food withdrawal. My fellow art department buddies, Chih-Hao and Meng brought me here and I am most grateful. Good Hong Kong tea house style joints are hard to come by in Orange, but thanks to the high Asian population in Irvine and UCI, there are plazas filled with Asian restaurants and grocery stores. It's heaven. I was greatly craving a tea house staple, popcorn chicken. They're not just Asian style chicken nuggets, and it's utter and complete blasphemy if you think so. Popcorn chicken is given enough spice and topped with crisp, fried cilantro and garlic on top. While Guppy House's version was basically the popcorn chicken I've tasted at boba places like Quickly and Davis' Old Teahouse, Guppy makes it into a cheap, yummy entree, adding sides: rice with pork on top, sweet corn, potato salad, and cucumbers drizzled with some rice vinegar.

I totally forgot to take pictures of the place, but this is basically what I ate.

Next time I head over there I'll definitely try the Kimchi fried rice. There's also something called Shaved Ice--very similar to Filipino halo-halo. It's basically shaved ice topped with ice cream, fruit, and other things like boba or sweet beans. It's about $11, but it comes in a ridiculously huge bowl that you can easily split among friends.

Oh god how I want you, shaved ice.

Saturday night: BCD Tofu House (Garden Grove, CA)
Price: $8-9 for tofu soup, about $12 for bulgogi (Korean BBQ)


This is my new favorite place. It was the last day of the shoot and we striked set. To celebrate, Chih-hao bought me dinner here. It's great, cheap Korean food in a restaurant that's open 24 hours! It doesn't get better than that. This place is definitely the spot for tired, sleep deprived film students who finished a 12-hour day on set. Like any respectable Korean restaurant, they serve you unlimited banchan, or sides for free (!). I definitely ate a few servings of much needed kimchi.

Assorted tofu soup with banchan in the background

I ordered assorted tofu soup, and by assorted, the soup had beef, shrimp, and clams in it. The sides and the soup were just yummy and a great thing to have in your tummy after a long day's work. A fresh egg is included with the soup, so you have the option of cracking it open and putting it in the soup. The soup is served sizzling hot so the egg becomes poached in just a few minutes. The order also includes a side of rice with peas in it. The server scoops the rice out of a bowl and transfers it to a different bowl. With the original rice bowl, you have the option of having the server put barley tea in it. The remnants of rice and the barley tea make a great drink to end the supper and settle your stomach.


Sunday lunch: Blue Bayou restaurant (Disneyland)
Price: $20-30

Pirates of the Caribbean ride in the distance...

This is definitely the kind of restaurant for those "once in awhile" moments. It was great sitting very close to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Next time I want the seat closest to the ride just so I can stare blankly at the people passing by on the boat. Since it was lunchtime, we all got the dish the restaurant is most famous for--the Monte Cristo. That sandwich alone was $21. It's a pricey place, but after all it is Disneyland and you are partially paying for the atmosphere, which in my opinion, is worth it. The meal starts off with bottomless bread and butter. Then you have the option of starting your meal with either a salad or gumbo. I chose the gumbo and it was absolutely delicious albeit the small portion. We decided to use our rolls of bread to create a bread bowl--best impromptu dining suggestion I was ever give. The Monte Cristo itself was absolutely delicious and I tried to forget the amount of calories and oil that was used in the making of it. There was also a very sweet/sour berry sauce reduction that enhanced the sandwich's taste. The meal also included scalloped potatoes and sauteed asparagus and broccoli rabe. The sides were also very delicious, especially the potatoes. Yummy creaminess. The meal gave me leftovers that lasted 3 other meals, so my $21 was used quite well.

Lusciousness...

My only real complaint would be the random blue M&M that was in my scalloped potatoes. I complained to the waitress who was very gracious and who immediately gave me a new plate of food that was freshly made. She even added an additional 10% off to our existing 20% from our season pass. Strangely, the waitress asked the chef about the M&M and even he didn't know how it got into my food. It will forever remain an amusing mystery whose story will be used in many cocktail parties to come.

Yep, that's an M&M...in my potatoes.

It was definitely a weekend full of great filmmaking, great people, and great food. Now that I know these places exist I actually feel better about myself.


scribbler-chan.blogspot.com

Food Porn: Post-Beach Pasta

Today I went to Newport Beach to help my production group buddy, B shoot her project. It was an absolutely gorgeous day even though it took a long time to find traffic. But it was so worth it. Travel+swimming+beaches=hunger, so the best way to remedy that was to make pasta for dinner. I'm not one for fancy sauces that pile on the herbs because it can detract away from the taste of the other ingredients, and even the taste of the pasta itself. Pasta isn't a tasteless tabula rasa, it has its own flavors. After all, a lot of great and simple pasta sauces are made using pasta water.

The bowl on the left is leftover Hot & Sour soup from the Chinese restaurant.....
just so you won't be confused.

Ingredients

• Whole wheat penne pasta from Trader Joe's
• Tomato & Basil chicken sausage also from TJ's
• Red pepper flakes
• Extra virgin olive oil
• salt & pepper
• 3 cloves of crushed garlic
• chopped mushrooms
• Asparagus that's been sitting in the fridge for a week and screamed to be used. Sliced on the diagonal.
• Fresh basil in a chiffonade (pile the basil leaves on top of each other, roll like a small cigarette, and slice perpendicular)
  
• Fresh mozzarella cheese from TJ's, cut into small cubes

Hi, I'm a big clump of melted mozzarella and I want to be inside your mouth.

Directions

• Bring water to a boil. Once the water begins to boil, lower down the heat a little bit, and add a generous handful of salt, put in pasta and stir
• In a saute pan, heat up olive oil, then add garlic and pepper flakes. The amount of pepper flakes depends on you. I like a little heat so I put in about a generous tablespoon. Put it on medium heat and let the garlic lightly brown.
• Add sausage and brown, lowering the heat just a smidgen. The fattiness of the sausage basically creates this sauce, so pay attention while it cooks. Add a bit more olive oil.
  
• Add asparagus and mushrooms, then add salt and pepper to taste. Add about a half ladle full of pasta water.
  
• Let all of these ingredients simmer and make love happily for a few minutes. While this happens, the pasta should be about ready, so turn off the heat.
  
• Using a slotted spoon or one of these bad boys, take out the pasta and place into the saute pan with the sauce. Mix and let them mingle.
  
• Top with basil and mozzarella.

I was tired from the beach and hungry, and this baby only took about 20 minutes to cook, so it's possible to cook quick and gourmet-ish meals. So please, no Chef Boyardee or Cup of Noodles (unless that's your thang and you just crave the stuff).


http://scribbler-chan.blogspot.com

Hawtness: Asian guys modeling it up (finally).

Alrighty so September seems to be the month of hot Asian men. Thanks to the Angry Asian Man blog, I stumbled upon these delectable articles...


John Cho on GQ?!?!
Seeing this made me happy. I don't know if this online article appears in the magazine itself, but I gotta admit he looks quite sophisticated modeling those posh double-breasted suits. (can't believe he's 37 already...) I'm so happy to see his career rising, from Star Trek to ABC's new series, FlashForward where he co-stars with Joseph Fiennes. And in the article he talks about how rare it was to actually see Asians on TV and how things have improved since then. He doesn't forget his roots, and that's not only awesome, but hot.

Note to GQ: Can you also feature James Kyson Lee?



Daniel Liu: Ford Model.
Now I'm just flapping my petticoats in happiness in discovering Daniel Liu. He's not just your typical model, but he has the renowned Ford Modeling Agency taking care of him. While the interview was short and he really didn't go deep into diversity in the modeling industry, he did give this short yet admirable quote, "You know, I don't worry about being accepted. I think the world's definitely ready for just models of all types." Definitely shows he has the strong backbone needed to survive modeling. He has a great career ahead of him. His high cheekbones are freakishly amazing.

Note: There was this John Ford fragrance ad of him naked with just a fuzzy blanket to hide his privates, but you have to earn it by clicking on the link. It's a LARGE pic, just to warn you if you're at work.

Ok, I'm attracted to all kinds of guys regardless of race, body type, and all of those exterior and interior factors, but I'm just so happy to see that Asian guys are finally getting the attention they historically have never received until recently. Yes, these modeling and GQ ads do have a tinge of superficiality and materialism to them, but the one asexual and caricatured image of the Kung-Fu/Foo Manchu Asian man are now (slowly but surely) evolving to images of men who are just as sophisticated and sexy as all the other guys on the catwalk. As the master Tim Gunn says, "Make it work."


http://scribbler-chan.blogspot.com

Food Porn: Grilled chicken salad

I know most people hate cooking just for themselves, but for some reason cooking single servings brings out the best chef in me. I'm so proud of my lunch today I just had to post and brag it out. I'm surprised my digital camera could make food porn-worthy shots like this. Behold:


I must say that my Calphalon Panini/grill pan is the best thing everrrr!

• 1/4 lb of chicken breast, rubbed with sea salt and freshly ground pepper then grilled and sliced
• bag of herbal salad greens (mix of arugula, spinach, cilantro) bought from Fresh n Easy
• Goddess Tahini salad dressing from Fresh n Easy
• 3 spears of asparagus, grilled
• slices of Ciabatta bread which I lightly brushed with extra virgin olive oil and grilled.
• salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

And yes, it was so good. I only wish I had some white wine to go with it, but I just had orange juice in the fridge.



http://scribbler-chan.blogspot.com

Orange Crush: Starting anew in Chapman

"You are about to embark upon the Great Crusade."
- Dwight Eisenhower (on D-day)

A fairly intense quote from Ike, but it's the only one I can pull off the top of my head at the moment. And if you think about it, making films is a lot like D-day--a lot of shouting, pointing, shooting, and a ridiculous amount of running around to save your arse, but instead of running from Nazi gatling guns, you're running to buy 10 orders of cafe from Starbucks or running to get a bloody bounce board that someone forgot to stuff into their car. If not a bounce board then a tripod, or even the camera itself.

So now I am here in Orange, CA, the home of Chapman University's Dodge College of Film and Media Arts (just had to use the fou-fou formal name here). I've only been settled for about 4 days and I already feel fairly at home here. It's been great meeting all my fellow grad students. I knew the program was small, but I wasn't expecting it to be so comfortably tight-knit. It's surprisingly similar to what I had in Davis. I met some of the 2nd year students last night at a great party, and they were a lot like a big family--yes, drama happens especially on the set, but the love's still there. This is why I love filmmaking. People on the set understand you--they identify with your quirks, your adamant opinions about movies (even if they don't agree), and you all share in sleep-deprivation, coffee addiction and the penchant for eating dinner at 2am. I'm looking forward to new friendships, new experiences, new knowledge--hell, I'm just looking forward, but at the same time not forgetting the people who have my back.

Hiroshima mon Amour: Early Asian Male Romantic Leads

The 1959 Alain Resnais film, Hiroshima mon amour, is one of the thirty films I have to watch in preparation of my film production grad program at Chapman's Dodge College. When I found the DVD in the library, I was much more interested in crossing off another movie from the "must-see list" that I failed to even read the story synopsis on the back of the DVD box. Simply being told that I'm required to watch this film, and seeing "Criterion Collection" printed on the DVD was enough to convince me this was a worthwhile film. As you can tell, I'm a Criterion whore (insert smiley face here).

But once I did watch the DVD and read the synopsis on the back, well, I was happily surprised. The most obvious surprise came in the male lead--HE'S JAPANESE?!?! And the second--it's a film made in 1959?! And third--The lead actor speaks flawless French! (sexy) I think we all know of the sexless status given to Asian male actors, especially in American films. Even in today's more modern, liberal society, it's still rare to see a Asian actor play the romantic lead in a film that was not made in Asia. The earliest Asian male star I've seen in cinematic history was Sessue Hayakawa who starred in the 1915 film, The Cheat. While Hayakawa plays the dashing romantic interest of Fannie Ward's character, his character is also a sexually sadistic villian who brands Ward with the logo he puts on all his "possessions". Great to see Hayakawa in a lead role, but the character upholds a negative sexual stereotype of the Asian male. It was the 1910's after all...



In Hiroshima mon amour, Eiji Okada's character is completely different--he is complex and we learn more about him as the movie progresses. Yeah, he's a bit obsessed over Emmanuelle Riva's character, but she has her share of obsessions and mental instabilty. Like most romantically charged films--both characters have their share of emotional baggage. In this film set in post-WWII Hiroshima, the baggage is inevitably heavier. This is not your flowery romantic movie with the conventional happy ending.


Marguerite Duras, who wrote the screenplay, wrote an interesting description of how the Japanese male should be portrayed in the film. Here's an excerpt taken from an appendix of the published Hiroshima mon amour screenplay which was printed in its Criterion Collection's DVD companion booklet:

He 's a man of about forty. Tall. With a fairly "Western" face.

The choice of a Western-looking Japanese actor should be interpreted in the following way:

A Japanese actor with pronounced Japanese features might lead people to believe that it is especially because the protagonist is Japanese that the French actress was attached to him. Thus, whether we like it or not, we'd find ourselves caught again in the trap of "exoticism" and the involuntary racism inherent in any exoticism.

The spectator should not say: "How attractive Japanese men are," but "How attractive that man is."

This is why it is preferable to minimize the difference between the two protagonists. If the audience never forgets that this is a story of a Japanese man and a French woman, the profound implications of the film are lost. If they audience does forget it, these profound implications become apparent.


The opening sequence coincides with Duras' intentions. You see two bodies, but the closeups prevent you from distinguishing who's who. Thanks to black and white film, the ethnicity of the two lovers appears ambiguous, but it's still hot and steamy. Without any prior knowledge of the film, you wouldn't know one person is Japanese and one is French until the end of the sequence when we see their faces--and that's the point. To state it simply, they are two people brought together by the consequences of WWII. They both understand and experienced the atrocities of the war. It's east meets west, but in a deeper, more meaningful socio-political nature. Regardless of the country, the pain of the war is universal.

I'm still a bit flabbergasted that I was never told about this movie before, not even in my Asian American studies or Film Studies classes. It's a pretty influential post-WWII film. Have people forgotten about this movie? Do people even know such a film exists? Well, now that you know it exists, watch it.

Speaking as a G33K GrRrL

I stumbled upon this interesting post titled, "4 Tips for Understanding Girl Geeks" on Jezebel. The blog post put a realistic perspective on the concept of the "Girl Geek", which, I can honestly and proudly say, that I am.

But these are interesting points from Anna N.:
"1: There is no one Girl Geek.
2. Girl Geeks don't necessarily hate "girly" things.
3. Girl Geeks do not have to date Guy Geeks, nor do they require special wooing.
4. Geeks are not better than other people."

I completely agree with #1, not all geeks are the same--and this is not about the whole Star Wars v. Star Trek conflict (which I personally understand and will probably get stoned for not understanding...). There are geeks who like Sci-Fi, while others prefer fantasy...some like both. Some geeks like anime, some don't. And the most popular guy in high school who was also the star quarterback probably hid in the dark corners of his room to play World of Warcraft. Like all stereotypes, geekiness percentage is based on the individual.

#2 is just accurate, that there is really no need to elaborate upon it. Geek Girls are, after all, girls. We like to dress up and wear make up. Some of us prefer not to do it everyday (because it is a hassle), but we do it when the occasion arises.

#3...well...it depends on the Geek Guy. Regardless of geekiness, a guy can still be a douche. And I have no clue what this whole "special wooing" is about. Does he have to be able summarize the entire plot of Battlestar Gallactica? Does he have to win me by being able to beat Final Fantasy VII in one day? T'would be nice, but not required. Really, it's all about the eyes, the humor, and the intellect when it comes down to it.

And #4...while I sometimes think this is true it really isn't (damn). This ties into #1. Not all geeks are the same, and some people who think of themselves as "non-geek" do have geeky tendencies. People are people, and knowing people--they can be stupid. There are geeks who are so ridiculously idiotic and insipid that they make you wonder why they're still alive, and there are non-geeks who do the same.

There's this hilarious, but not very realistic post from the nerdy girl blog, The Park Bench on "How to Meet and Woo a Nerdy Girl." that ties into this whole rant of mine.

To sum it up, I'm a Geek Girl, but I'm realistic and I'm not prejudice against non-geeks (who a really closet geeks). My only requirement for date-ability is that he has to know what to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse. You don't HAVE to look like David Tennant, as long as you know how to properly aim for a head-shot. I'm really not that picky....

{Retrospective} Porn for Sale

Yep, Porn for Sale. It's the title of a short film I co-wrote with my friends Ling-sze and Golda. It's almost a year old, but I never get tired of watching it. The girls and porn rant was all me =)

Porn for Sale, dir. Golda Criddle

RIP Cory Aquino::Long Live People Power

“I don't have any formula for ousting a dictator or building democracy. All I can suggest is to forget about yourself and just think of your people. It's always the people who make things happen.” -Corazon Aquino

Corazon "Cory" Aquino, the first female president of the Philippines died 3:18am, August 1, 2009 (Philippines time) of colon cancer. I'm very saddened by the news, but I'm happy she's no longer in pain. Tita (Auntie) Cory, as she wanted to be called, is one of the most influential political figures, not only in the Philippines, but worldwide as well. She serves as an example of the unexpected hero--the housewife of an influential politician who is pushed to become the leader of Philippine democracy after the assassination of her husband, Benigno "Ninoy" Aquino Jr. She didn't want to become president, but she knew her role and took it without hesitation. Although her years as president had its share of controversies (but which presidency doesn't?), she symbolized one of the greatest political movements in Filipino (and even worldwide) history--People Power. She took her leadership role for the people. The people of the Philippines chose her.

She holds a place in my heart personally because I did a project about her in high school. I went to an all-girls' Catholic high school, so feminism and liberal ideas was rife and filled the hallways (thank God). As part of the frosh curriculum, we have to do a "Women's Place Project", a sort of artistic dinner table in which each student has to create a table setting which represents her respective woman. It's based on the art installation The Dinner Party by Judy Chicago. And I chose Cory Aquino. I unfortunately was not taught a lot of Filipino history growing up. But this project brought me closer to my heritage. Learning about Cory and People Power made me prouder to be a Filipina. As a kid, I sadly didn't know all the details about the Marcos regime. The most I heard growing up were quips and jokes about Imelda Marcos' 3,000 pairs of shoes (it's true, not lying here). But now I know more, and now I don't take my Filipino heritage for granted.


From housewife to the first female president of the Philippines--it's inspiration in itself. It's certainly inspiration for me. She was a tiny little Filipina lady, but people took her seriously. People respected her. Despite her appearance, she was one strong lady, resisting 7 coup d'etats and being resolute despite political opposition during her term. It makes me rather sad that the US has yet to have a female president, while the Philippines being a younger democracy has had two since 1986. However, having the first African American in office will hopefully pave the way for more groups to be represented in the highest office in the land, but I digress....

Tita Cory brings out the best in Filipinos. When people recall her, they show that they once trusted their government. Although there has been some tumult in recent history--former President Joseph Estrada and there are some controversies surrounding current Pres. Gloria Arroyo (2nd female president!), when people hear Cory's name, there is a feeling of sincere admiration present. She will surely be missed, but she will always be remembered. RIP Tita Cory!

For more about Cory and the history check these out:

• ABS-CBN News Coverage
• Time Magazine made her Woman of the Year in 1986 and they've provided some nice memorial coverage.

I make good things!

I have no summer job and it's about a month away from starting film school. Aside from summer homework, I'm pretty damn bored. What happens when Allison's bored? I make random things for no reason whatsoever and become my own personal Martha Stewart.

* Handkerchief scarf/curtain/tablecloth/whatever you want...
[Need: Old fabric, stapler (if you're lazy), or needle and thread if you're feeling more motivated. You can even use safety pins if you want to make a punk look I suppose, or buttons if you want to cute-tify it... ]
I made this using a bunch of old handkerchiefs I never use. I cut the fabric into random shapes. It started out as me wanting to make a quilt, but then I grew too lazy to sew so I just got a stapler and stapled at certain areas to allow some spacing between each piece of fabric. Not really sure what I'll use it for, but I'm tempted to drape it on a stick and make it into a kinda of wind catcher/mobile.




* Decoupage trash can...
[Need: Your favorite pictures from magazines, newspapers, shopping bags, etc; decoupage glue (you can buy it or just mix equal parts Elmer's white glue and water or even just mix flour and water to create a paste).]
After four years of using the same trash can I got really bored of seeing a plain white receptacle so I decided to spiff it up using this awesome shopping bag I got last summer when I went to the Victoria & Albert Museum in London. They luckily had this exhibit about modern Chinese design and made a great shopping bag to advertise it. Previously, I used the shopping bag as a poster, but now it's immortalized into this trashcan. Now it's a functional keepsake =)
There has been no white Elmer's glue in my house since I was 12, so I made my own glue using flour mixed with water. I put a thin layer of clear paper glue I had to finish it off, and to even out the edges I used electrical tape...good thing the bag was black to begin with. On the subject of the V&A, I highly suggest you visit it whenever you're in London (it's free!)--it's a great museum, especially if you're into design and its history. It has one of the best gift shops I've ever been in.



Candy pincushion...
[Need: Old fabric, foam or cotton, needle and thread]
I got so bored of my old and blah pincushion I made a few years ago, so I made a new one using an old pink handkerchief I wore when I was a kid and wanted to be a cowgirl for Halloween. I had some foam that you find in those boxes when you buy jewelry, and I rolled it to look like a small sausage and pinned it. Then I cut a square out of the handkerchief and covered it over the foam to make a candy-shape. Did some sewing and voilà!